Understanding OCD: The Key to Treating It

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder that occurs when a person gets caught in a cycle of unwanted and intrusive thoughts. These thoughts trigger distressing feelings and causes the person to feel driven to engage in repetitive behavior, compulsions.

Read Marisa’s story of how she came to understand OCD and what she has done to help treat it.

Stock photo: posed by model

My OCD story began long before I actually realized. When I was 10 years old, I would lie awake at night, convinced someone was going to break into our house. My thoughts would keep me up and result in calling out for my parents to come to my room.

My parents, both loving and supportive, took me to see a therapist. I don’t remember much about the few sessions I had, other than telling her I was convinced that because I thought someone would break in, it would definitely happen. I knew my thoughts had enough power to will it to happen. I didn’t receive a diagnosis beyond normal anxiety at that time.

Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts

My intrusive thoughts continued throughout adolescence and into young adulthood but were never intense enough to interfere with daily life. I recognized early on I had anxiety, but I was what some might call “high functioning.” Even after obtaining my master’s degree in Social Work and becoming a clinician, I never considered the possibility that my anxiety could be OCD.

When I was 28 and my parents died seven months apart, my grief therapist mentioned OCD as a way of characterizing my intrusive thoughts about what I was sure to be the impending death of my brother. Even at that time I didn’t give it much thought and we didn’t focus on OCD during treatment, as she was a talk therapist specializing in grief.

In my mid-30’s I got married and had my first baby. About six weeks after my daughter was born, I experienced a level of anxiety and intrusive thoughts I never had before. I would walk through the house carrying her, having visions of dropping her on her head. I was convinced I would wake up and find her not breathing or that she would suffocate in her car seat.

I had significant anxiety when my husband went back to work, leaving me to care for our daughter alone. Never mind that my husband worked from home and was still present in the house. I was convinced he would die, and I would be left to care for this baby alone. I knew something wasn’t right, but by the time I got around to admitting it after about a month, the intensity of the thoughts returned back to their baseline. At that time, I started researching more about postpartum anxiety and was certain that’s what I had experienced.

Almost two years later, as I prepared for the birth of my second baby, my OB and I discussed my concerns that I might experience postpartum anxiety again, so we derived a plan – medication if needed. Even at that time, I still thought my experiences were generalized anxiety, amplified by being postpartum.

My son was born, and I did well, all things considered. I never felt that same level of intensity I had following the birth of my first baby. That is, until my son was about 10 months old and our home flooded during Hurricane Harvey. Having to navigate the clean-up of a flooded home, while caring for a 2-year-old and 10-month-old, while trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy for them, increased my stress to an unrecognizable level.

My OCD Uncovered

We moved into an apartment while our house was repaired, and I could feel myself starting to lose joy in little moments. The intrusive thoughts were constant and always related to my daughter dying.

My tipping point was a day I was playing with her and as she was laughing, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I should enjoy this moment because one day she might not be here. I realized in that moment my thoughts were interfering with my ability to experience joy with my children. I decided to seek out a therapist who specialized in postpartum issues. Within the first ten minutes of our initial meeting, she suggested I had OCD and should see a psychiatrist and a therapist whose specialty is OCD. There began my official OCD journey.

Now, three years later and at the age of 42, I finally feel I have an understanding of the reason behind my intrusive thoughts. With the right combination of medication, an OCD trained therapist, and ERP, I am finally finding joy in the small moments again and feel better in control of my thoughts and cognitive compulsions. I found so much power in naming my intrusive thoughts as OCD. While most of my thoughts are harm obsessions, during therapy it became

clear I also experience “just right” OCD. Being aware of the root cause has helped me in so many ways. I am so grateful for the knowledge and support I now have regarding my OCD.

OCD Research

OCD affects 1 in 100 people. Though there are medications to help treat OCD, many OCD patients, perhaps as many as 40-60%, do not respond to the current medication options. At Biohaven, our mission is to pave the way for new resources and studies so individuals with OCD have more effective treatment options.

We are currently conducting a research study evaluating an investigation medication to potentially treat OCD, with research sites across the country. Learn more about the OCD study and see if you qualify today.